Why Me?

Why Me??

what is your attitue when you said the words above?

i guess most of us say this with a complaining attitude.

Why I got fired?

Why I got diagnose with cancer?

Why my things got stolen?

Why I couldn't get the thing i want?

Why me...

Why me... etc.

when bad things happen or something wrong in our life, we start to complain, why is me... why is this and that...and why God treat me like that...

However, the words can have a different impact in your life when you stop complaining and start to say that words with a grateful attitude.

Why God choose me out of all the people in the world?

Why I receive this gift?

Why I receice this blessing?

Why I have what i have right now?

with the same words, it bring out two different outcome.

First one, you will live your life with bitterness

Second one, you will rejoice in every single day on earth

It's all your choice.

We are all sinner who deserve punishment from God

But, because He loved us so much, so He sent His only Son to die for our sin.

and Jesus took all of the punishment that suppose to fall on us

So that we have life and abundant blessing from God.

All because He Love us.

Inside and Out

wow, last month i only posted two post...
should discipline myself to write more often.. =)
However, last month was a challenging month...
I should say, in the very beginning of this summer, God reveal Himself, His Word, His love little by little and last month was the most intense, i guess...
throughout the summer, God works a lot of my inner self, personality, character...
He showed me how weak i am, how wicked i am, how sinful i am..
He convicted the area of my life that are not pleasing His eyes...
Conviction should be a good thing, it allow me to see which part i need to work om...
but when God works really works in my inner self, wow, that feeling is very intense...overwhelmed.
if i didn't ask Him for help, i will fall into condemnation forever, and could not come out from that...
when God reveal the area that i need to repent, the area of personality, attitude that need to put off
the feeling is so overwhelm and it was not pleasant at all...
i thought i have no problem in this area, but God knows...He knows everything of me
no even single,little spot can escape from His eyes.
when He bring the characters, attitude to light.. i was like " wow, i have this anger in me;i have unforgiveness, i have this self-fish thought, i have this wrong motive...'
one by one, God pointed out and say to me : " Jing, this is what you have deep in your heart. And this is the area that you need to bring it to light, repent. Come to Me and I will teach you how to be like Me."
day by day, He spoke through the Scripture about how to be like Christ...
To be honest, it's not easy to win victory over that areas...
I struggled for a while in that area...it took me weeks to overcome that...
during that process, i found that i couldn't do it by my own strength...
whenever i try to do with my own ability, the situation become worse...
that time, i learn to depend on Jesus...
let His love flow through me and allow Him to transform my heart...
My root problem is my heart...
and He teach me how to guard my heart and how to give my heart to Him...
He will not leave me alone to deal with that after bring out the problem
Indeed, He teach me how to overcome that...
In Him, i find strength...
once i found the key to overcome the darkness, i already win the battle
i still in the process of dealing with the battle
because i know, Satan will pull me down whenever i win over one area...
that why, i need to hold the Key tight in my heart ...
the Key will keep me safe...
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i remember, i had a revelation of we being the bridegroom of Jesus Christ...
as a girl, I m married to Jesus Christ, the Only perfect Man in the universe
i try to link what God spoke to me during this summer
i found that there is a link...
God revealed that Jesus will come to receive me as a bride in the Last Day
and before that, i have to be like Christ so that  i can stand in front of Him with no shame
1 John 2:28-" and now, little children,abide in Him, that when He appears , we may have confidence and not                         be ashamed before Him at His coming."
that's is the reason, why He works on my personality, character and attitute..
that's is the reason why He pointed out the dark spot in me...
He also teach me how to be a wife...
A godly woman...
Rebekah is the best example of how to be a godly woman from the Bible ( Genesis 24:12-20)
a woman that is godly inside and out
a woman that is beautiful inside and out
this is the great assignment for me on earth
By His love and mercy, i will continue my journey with Him
with all this, LOVE is the foundation of everything...
Because He love us, so He gave up His life for our sin
So, as the body of Christ, me too, have to show His love to people around me...
Love is the perfect bond of everything...
I can't love people with my own love, i have no love to love people
but,He fill me with His love, so that i can love others...
O Lord, may Your love fill my heart, so that i being able to love others and show others how great is Your love.

To know love, open your heart to Jesus

To show love, open your heart to others

Update! Update! Update!

PRAISE GOD!!! Finally, i had finish one subject for this summer...
oh thank GOD, i managed to go through that...
well, this also mean that one month already past....
wow....time move so quick...
CCJ203, Criminal, Crime & Justice, i will never forget what i learn in this subject...
It is a very interesting subject..manage to see the criminal justice system in US....
this subject added to my knowledge tank. =D
For this one month, i had busy with school work, and working...
every week had exam, and had to work during evening...
timetable is packed, it make me can't settle down and really write a post
However, thinking i have time to write share things that happen to me this month ( i have a lot to share though, =D), i still caught on another exam = HND 101 Personal Nutrition
this summer, the subjects that i am doing, really make me open my eyes...
not only aware of what is happening in the criminal system in US and around the world ( because we still need to study some of the crime trend in European country, such as Canada, British and so on)
personal Nutrition also make me health conscious...
know how to read the Nutrition Fact of the food that in a package, know how and what to eat to be more healthy, and know what is the nutrition value in the particular food...so and so...
this make me going crazy..haha
as in, if you follow what I am studying, you will be healthy, but sometime you will lost the joy of eating some "unhealthy" food based on the Dietary Guidelines...
So, what i can say is there is no bad food, but it is the way you eat, the amount you eat...
in order to not make you become too health conscious until there is nothing you can eat in this world,
you just need to follow this 3 principle in your diet, and you will be fine =)

Balance

Moderation

Variety

FireWork

4th July is Independence Day for United States
in the small city like Carbondale, they have an firework event
my housemate and I decided to go and experience the firework in US..(seems like i never see firework before) haha
one interesting thing in US is, they like to picnic, and they like outdoor activity.
they like to bring whole family out for some event...
such as this event, the will bring chairs, food and even BBQ in the place, just to watch firework...
so me and my friend, just cycle to the field, bought some snacks and drinks, sit on the grass, and wait the night come..
it was a different experience that watch firework in such a short distant..
just felt like wanted to reach out and catch the firework
it was very beautiful under the dark sky which full of stars...
Awesome.. ~

Bride. Bridegroom

This was a wonderful thought that came to me few days ago...
and finally i got the chance to write it here
summer school start, caught up with new schedule..
but, praise God, He help through it
without Him, i have no strength to go on the busy schedule...
ok, back to the topic..

When i did my devotion, a verse came up to me that we are the bride of Christ.
before that, my friend told me that we will be marry to Jesus
that time my reaction was like, oh..ok, that is sweet..end. that's it

After the verse came alive to me, i have different mindset
think of it, Jesus, a sinless man, Son of God, perfect man, a man who is love, patient and have every good character is your husband..
can you imagine that?
i just imagine that He is like a normal man, eat, drink, work,sleep and live together with me,just as normal marriage couple do
I was like, wow..that's is too  much....
I myself is a sinner, who is imperfect, have to live with a perfect man..that's is too much..
I'm not match with Him, this was my first reaction..
however, when i think it deeply, we should be grateful that we are chose by Him
by the grace of God, His Spirit who live in me will make me to be like Him.....
I thank God that at last i will be His bride, a perfect man....
This also mean, at this life, I have to be prepare that He will come to receive me any time...
Be prepare people, He will come any time soon...
Pray  at that time, I m ready to hold His hand...

besides that, it is inspiring to know that, i m person who will worry when thing not going in the right way, and He who is my husband will say : " Jing, don't worry about anything, give it all to Me, i will help you to carry all those burden, just rest in Me and trust Me."
oh~ how sweet it is, when your husband tell you like this, and you will have peace an truly rest in His shoulder
This was one of the beautiful thing about Jesus...
He is our bridegroom

Blueberry picking ~

Few days ago, went to blueberry farm to pick blueberry
was a very new experience...
it was fun.haha
never pick blueberry like this M'sia
So was very new to me.. =D
the day before we go to the farm
the weather forecast reported that, that day in the morning will rain and have thunder storm
as i know, the US forecast is very very accurate
all of us prayed very hard for a good weather
as we know, God is good =D
that morning didn't rain..was a very nice day to pick blueberry...=D
God is good. =D

20th

Officially, i m 20!
Yeah! Praise God that i live in this world for 20 years...
I felt so blessed that my first birthday in US was surround by wishes and celebration
Malaysians celebrate with me in the very first hour of my birthday
My housemate cook "mee sua" for me, thank you very much chailian and carol for helping chailian
CCF celebrate with me and steveenney make an awesome cake..
Basically is full of blessing and joy
the different of this year birthday is people surround me changed
the people used to celebrate with me changed
I miss all of them so much...
and my lovely family also...
if my family is with me right now will be perfect! wonderfully perfect!

Just want to say thank you to my heavenly Father

Thank You for created me

Thank You for binging me to this world

Thank You for You found me two years ago ( roughly)

Thank You for breathe into my life

Thank You for placing me in this family

Thank You for the people around me

Thank You for Your love

Thank You for Your mercy and grace

Thank You for listening  and answering to my prayer

Thank You for meeting my needs

Thank You for You are patience to me

Thank You for discipline me

Thank You for Your promises

Thank You for Your protection

Thank You for be with me all the times

and the most important thing is Thank You for sending Jesus Christ to die for us 

without knowing you and accepting you, i don't know how my life will be

Mayb it will better or worse than right now

However, accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior is the most correct decision that i make in my entire life

I never regret of choosing to walk this journey with Christ

It is not a smooth and easy journey

However it is a journey full of His love, mercy, grace and promises

I LOVE YOU .