Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Inside and Out

wow, last month i only posted two post...
should discipline myself to write more often.. =)
However, last month was a challenging month...
I should say, in the very beginning of this summer, God reveal Himself, His Word, His love little by little and last month was the most intense, i guess...
throughout the summer, God works a lot of my inner self, personality, character...
He showed me how weak i am, how wicked i am, how sinful i am..
He convicted the area of my life that are not pleasing His eyes...
Conviction should be a good thing, it allow me to see which part i need to work om...
but when God works really works in my inner self, wow, that feeling is very intense...overwhelmed.
if i didn't ask Him for help, i will fall into condemnation forever, and could not come out from that...
when God reveal the area that i need to repent, the area of personality, attitude that need to put off
the feeling is so overwhelm and it was not pleasant at all...
i thought i have no problem in this area, but God knows...He knows everything of me
no even single,little spot can escape from His eyes.
when He bring the characters, attitude to light.. i was like " wow, i have this anger in me;i have unforgiveness, i have this self-fish thought, i have this wrong motive...'
one by one, God pointed out and say to me : " Jing, this is what you have deep in your heart. And this is the area that you need to bring it to light, repent. Come to Me and I will teach you how to be like Me."
day by day, He spoke through the Scripture about how to be like Christ...
To be honest, it's not easy to win victory over that areas...
I struggled for a while in that area...it took me weeks to overcome that...
during that process, i found that i couldn't do it by my own strength...
whenever i try to do with my own ability, the situation become worse...
that time, i learn to depend on Jesus...
let His love flow through me and allow Him to transform my heart...
My root problem is my heart...
and He teach me how to guard my heart and how to give my heart to Him...
He will not leave me alone to deal with that after bring out the problem
Indeed, He teach me how to overcome that...
In Him, i find strength...
once i found the key to overcome the darkness, i already win the battle
i still in the process of dealing with the battle
because i know, Satan will pull me down whenever i win over one area...
that why, i need to hold the Key tight in my heart ...
the Key will keep me safe...
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i remember, i had a revelation of we being the bridegroom of Jesus Christ...
as a girl, I m married to Jesus Christ, the Only perfect Man in the universe
i try to link what God spoke to me during this summer
i found that there is a link...
God revealed that Jesus will come to receive me as a bride in the Last Day
and before that, i have to be like Christ so that  i can stand in front of Him with no shame
1 John 2:28-" and now, little children,abide in Him, that when He appears , we may have confidence and not                         be ashamed before Him at His coming."
that's is the reason, why He works on my personality, character and attitute..
that's is the reason why He pointed out the dark spot in me...
He also teach me how to be a wife...
A godly woman...
Rebekah is the best example of how to be a godly woman from the Bible ( Genesis 24:12-20)
a woman that is godly inside and out
a woman that is beautiful inside and out
this is the great assignment for me on earth
By His love and mercy, i will continue my journey with Him
with all this, LOVE is the foundation of everything...
Because He love us, so He gave up His life for our sin
So, as the body of Christ, me too, have to show His love to people around me...
Love is the perfect bond of everything...
I can't love people with my own love, i have no love to love people
but,He fill me with His love, so that i can love others...
O Lord, may Your love fill my heart, so that i being able to love others and show others how great is Your love.

To know love, open your heart to Jesus
To show love, open your heart to others

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